Self-Awareness 101

As you become familiar with your own internal code (read “excuses”), it’s time to get down to the brass tacks of deciphering your internal dialogue so you can rewrite your code, renew your mind, and change your life. Ladies, you seem to be naturally much more self-aware than men, but even so, most of us have received little training or modeling in the art of self-analysis—even though the Bible commands us to “examine yourselves” and “test yourselves” (2 Corinthians 13:5).

For starters, let’s agree that everyone has an ongoing internal dialogue. In other words, you’re constantly mentally engaging in a conversation with yourself. You may be planning out the day, reviewing a conversation with your boss, berating yourself as a hopeless failure, or daydreaming about your fiancé, but something is usually going on inside that head of yours. Just because it’s an LMAE and you can’t hear the mental conversation in your head doesn’t lessen in any way the reality of your addictive internal self-talk.

Your first assignment, therefore, is to practice becoming aware of the arguments and lofty opinions (2 Corinthians 10:5, ESV) passing through your head. Scripture commands us to take our thoughts (excuses) captive but, as if often the case, we aren’t told how to do this specifically. Here are some practical, specific steps.

1. Hear Your Own Thoughts!

Recurring habitual thoughts (strongholds) are like elevator music, often playing in the background of our brains. Here are some real-life examples from my counselees and their homework for this chapter to help you in your own self-analysis. Their first assignment was simply to hear their own thoughts. This is not remotely as easy as it sounds, especially since you can think at the speed of light, as it were. With a thought process like the following, is it any wonder these brothers relapsed on a regular basis?!

2. Write Down Your Thoughts!

The next step toward self-awareness is to bring your thoughts out into reality. You do this by putting your thoughts to pen and paper. There is something about the transition from thought to paper that exposes and clarifies your internal dialogue. It jump-starts the code-breaking process, so the scales begin to fall from your eyes, as it were. Writing down the fact, for example, that you’ve been blaming your spouse for your relapses has a way of suddenly smacking you in the face with your own hard-heartedness. The habit of journaling is particularly helpful during this stage of recovery, because you can analyze your inner language in depth.

3. Verbalize Your Thoughts!

Years ago, as I was confessing in a group about lusting after a curvaceous young lady at the gym, I had a purity epiphany. This was back when I first started going to gyms and I was still struggling with the abundance of eye candy literally everywhere I looked. As I confessed my thoughts and lust to my BOB (Band of Brothers), it was like I was suddenly standing outside my own body hearing myself describe my excuses for drooling over this lady’s body. In that lightbulb moment, the creepy gravity of my own depravity hit me like a ton of brimstone. I was like, Dude, what is wrong with you! You’re old enough to be that girl’s father, and here you are drooling like some middle-age pervert. Enough is enough! It was a divine moment that tore down the arguments, strongholds, and lustful opinions in my mind—in other words, I executed that particular excuse on the spot.

Since then, as I’ve stated before, I’m at the gym every other day staying pure both in thought and deed. Hmm, maybe this is why the Bible commands us to confess our sins one to another. Speaking your thoughts out loud (excuses, rationalizations, justifications, fantasies, etc.), especially in the context of confession, helps you hear the reality of your depravity and confronts you with the potential consequences. By exposing your secrets to the world (or at least to your BOB/BOS group), you deprive your code of its internal power, rendering it ineffective and unusable. Try it—it works!

Your Brother in the Battle,

Timothy

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Excerpt taken from Pureheart Ministry’s Basic Training! Stage 2: Bootcamp

Copyright ©2023 Timothy Davis