National Ministry Leader Finally Repents and Permanently Changes His Ways
These testimonies are from current and former Pureheart counselees. Most of these men and women have broken free and now walk in consistent purity and/or healed marriages but some are still in process. These brothers and sisters, married and single, represent a wide spectrum of ages, races, nationalities, denominations, backgrounds, personalities, and levels of addiction and dysfunction but all of them have changed dramatically. If they can change, so can you! For obvious reasons, we have changed their names. Here are their stories (unedited)
Brother “Tom’s” Testimony, Age 58, Married
It was late at night while I was on a business trip. I felt the temptation that often followed after an exhausting weekend where I spent myself on a seminar or another presentation. I reached over and picked up my smart phone, also known as the devil’s vice. I started scrolling through video’s and images online which led me down a trail all too familiar.
One click led to the next. I could feel my heart beating faster as anticipation built. I knew exactly how this would end. One more disappointment, one more lie, one more defiling moment the Holy Spirit would be grieved. Knowing what was at stake, I still kept on clicking. You know the rest of the story. It didn’t take long for me to be engulfed with lust, self-gratification which yielded disgust, self-loathing comments which turned into justification, minimization and acceptance. I thought “All guys struggle with the same thing.” Which was the only way I could manage my emotions as a way to escape taking any responsibility whatsoever.
This time would be different. Little did I know my wife’s phone was tracking my history, she was able to see every single link showing every video I had visited. This wasn’t the first time I got caught. It wasn’t the first time I lied but it would become the last. When I got home my wife asked me “Where you looking at anything you shouldn’t have online again?” Unfortunately, my response was always “NO”, then after a while I’d come clean. This time would be different. My wife didn’t exactly give me an ultimatum but it wasn’t far from it. She’d made it clear that we couldn’t move forward until this was removed from my life, for real and for good. I’d been addicted to masturbating or looking at porn since I was young.
Pureheart Enters The Picture
I had been looking for a resource for years that offered real hope and an effective process that led to freedom. Now it wasn’t just a thought in my mind, my marriage was on the line. I was desperate to find something. I googled resources and came across Pureheart. After talking to Tim, I was convinced this process was perfect for me.
We began counseling right away. I will never forget the candid approach Tim used. It was precisely what I needed. For nearly forty years I had minimized my sin and had become blind to it’s devastating impact on myself and those around me. Tim helped me see the truth for the first time in my life. He also gave me hope that I never truly had before. Hope that I could find freedom. Hope that I could break away from the bondage of porn and masturbation.
Week by week I was learning more about myself than I’d ever dreamed possible. My wife was cautiously supportive but kept her distance. She’d been lied to too many times. I’d repented too many times for her to trust anything I said or did. Tim carefully prepared me how to handle her and to focus on my addiction and my sin pattern. God would take care of the rest.
You must know that I was not uneducated or ignorant. In fact, I was ordained and had a great handle on God’s word. I was in a full-time ministry position. I knew what was right and wrong. I knew what God truly thought about my habit yet, I still chose sin. I was in bondage and didn’t really know it. I would be ok for a few months then fall. I’d get back up and do ok for a while then fall. I never looked at it as an addiction.
Tim helped me say it out-loud and it was freeing while at the same time terrifying “I am a pervert, a liar and an addict.” Three startling labels no one ever wants to admit. The truth, you can’t fix it if you don’t face it.
Healing Began to Flow
I’d made it three months without relapsing. My weekly sessions were amazing. Tim was anointed by God for this ministry as his wisdom in this area was poured out by God himself. I became aware of my laziness as a Christian. I also learned a lot about my ‘emotional management’ system which was broken. I needed to break away from bondages, I needed to rebuild my mind and allow God to be my comforter. I needed to break away from the dopamine produced by my sin. I started to notice my wife opening up to me again. After a session with Tim, she immediately ignited our sexual activity again which blew my mind. She offered me mercy and forgiveness and initiated sex. I was humbled.
Six more months have passed as I travel often. I found myself creating better habits and re-actions to triggers that used to lead me down a dark path. Now, I avoid the pitfalls. My hotel stays are not riddled with temptation and sin. My overnight stays are no longer a threat to my purity. My mind has been renewed to a point where I can go to bed at night and not struggle with the temptation to release the day’s stress by a quick ‘self’ sex moment.
A Relapse
I get emotional just thinking about how wonderful it feels to be free. Often, I stop and think “Wow, I am truly free.” It is almost too good to be true, yet it is true. Nearly one year into it I did relapse. My wife and I hadn’t had sex for a week or so. I did not communicate well with her nor did I initiate sex. Had I done either of those things, she would have immediately obliged. I got lazy and slightly embarrassed. “Honey, want to go to bed early tonight?” I muttered, which was code for “Want to have sex?”. She didn’t catch my innuendo so off I went. I chose to masturbate that night with GREAT conviction like never before. It was nearly one year since my first session with Tim. The next morning, I did something I’d never done before. I told her right away. She wasn’t mad but was disappointed. We rehearsed what I should’ve said and done differently. I told Tim right away and we moved on. Relapsing isn’t ever the concern but ‘hiding’ the relapse is catastrophic. My wife always said the lies hurt her more than the porn or masturbation. I actually feel like it’s a safe place for me to be honest and tell her if I relapse again so I can’t ever blame her for a lie, that’s always on me.
The Best Parts
Now that I’m free and had a chance to evaluate the process with Pureheart I’d like to summarize the best part of the process for me.
CANDID TALK: I needed someone to love me enough to give it to me and not let me squirm my way out of accountability.
LONG TERM: I needed the weekly counseling and at least 8 months of it. I’m now convinced all men need that much if they are in bondage, even a little bondage.
DEMON FOCUS: I believe in Satan as much as I believe in God. If one third of the angels left heaven and are servants to the devil we must be surrounded by evil at times. Satan hates us and wants to destroy us. I was deeply impacted by Tim’s wisdom on this and would argue with any counselor that if they don’t face the demonic side of this problem, miracles won’t happen.
WOUNDS FROM A FRIEND: I will forever be indebted to Tim. He is no longer my counselor but a friend. I pray we can do life together and grow. Even in his most direct moments I felt “loved”.
LONG TERM PLAN: I appreciate the check-in list created by Pureheart. I will use it the rest of my life.
SUMMARY: Whether you struggle with porn, masturbation, lust, affairs or any of the like, Pureheart is for you. Whether you struggle a little or a lot, Pureheart is the best resource you will find. Trust me, I researched a lot over the years and nothing comes close.
May the Lord protect, inspire, equip and anoint Pureheart for his greater good and for his glory.
Brother “Tom’s” 5-Year Update
Here I am 7 years after going through Tim Davis’ program. At the time, I was desperate, guilty and ‘caught’ by my wife. It was tough. I was in ministry full time and couldn’t kick the habit of occasionally looking at porn and self-gratifying. I justified it with a thousand lies. “Everybody struggles”, “It’s just once in a while”, and the lies piled up onto each other.
I looked all over the country for something that would help. Nothing seemed effective. I stumbled across pureheartministries.net. I liked the weekly zoom counseling idea. I immediately took to Tim’s personality and no-nonsense approach. He has a gift of seeing through all the smoke screens we put off to minimize our sin and make ourselves look better than we truly are. He convinced me that I was an addict. I could hardly utter the words for the first time. Now, it’s easy to admit it because it was true. You can’t ever fix it if you don’t face it.
For nearly a year, I went through his program. It revealed more about me than I could have ever imagined. It took me into the bowels of the ship to discover the root issues, how to face them and how to repair them. I know I am biased, but now that I have sent many men through his program I am convinced it’s the best on the planet. It’s Biblical, it’s practical, it’s affordable, it’s effective. For the first time in my life, I found complete freedom.
Since then, I meet with two men who are recovered addicts. One with alcohol and the other with porn (who found freedom from Pureheart). We meet every week and use the check-in sheet to stay the course. A few months ago, we started fading into social hour and not staying on track. I found myself struggling in my mind and being tempted to relapse. I told the group, we need to stay on track men. We cannot take our eyes off the process, even for one week. So we doubled down on our $100 consequences regarding setbacks and use the check-in-sheet every week. That talk reignited our passion to stay pure. The program can provide freedom but if men deviate and fade away after the program is over, they can/will fall back into their old patterns.
As I travel the country preaching and teaching, I shout from the rooftops for men and churches to use the Pureheart Ministries so they can find freedom from addiction. I owe a lot to them, thank you for what you do.